God Conqueror 3 Read online

  My third self took her from behind, and although her wings gave off no heat beyond the normal heat of her living body, they overwhelmed my field of vision, so it was kind of like staring straight into a fire while my cock was somehow magically compressed by a phantom vagina, which was weird but also cool. Through my other eyes, however, I could watch the firebird’s entire body rocking on all fours as I slammed into her from behind. I only had one other set of eyes available to watch with, since two of my selves, with the mission and more having been accomplished, had allowed my selves to pass out in the grass.

  After my fourth self had taken my turn with the firebird and climaxed deep inside of her for the last time, she stood up, with a blissful but slightly exhausted look about her, and said, “Farewell, stranger. You have filled my womb to the brim with your seed, so the next time you see a shooting star, it may be your son or daughter.”

  I grinned, winked, and called out, “Remember you promised not to steal any more of Galeurn’s apples,” as she took a few graceful, barefoot steps across the grass and kicked off into the air. As she flew she was already transforming back into her more natural form, so that by the time she cleared the top of the golden apple tree, she was no longer a winged woman, but a bird from beak to talon.

  Chapter Nine

  In the morning, Willobee shook me awake.

  “Got a little sleepy, did you Master?” he said smugly.

  The faces of my other four companions, Lizzy, Florenia, Ilandere, and Elodette, all peered down at me where I was sleeping more or less in a pile tangled up with my selves.

  “Guess so,” I replied nonchalantly.

  “Don’t worry,” Ilandere said. “Every single one of us fell asleep too. We couldn’t help it. It must have been some kind of magic.”

  “I expected more from myself,” Elodette sighed, “but I must say it does make me feel a bit better that the same thing happened to you, human.”

  “We gotta stay another night, Vander, cause next time I’m gonna tear this fucker’s head off,” Lizzy growled. “You don’t just put me out like a light like that and get away with it. No sir.”

  “The apples we saw last night have vanished, Qaar’endoth,” Florenia sighed. “We checked before we woke you.”

  “Which apples?” I asked innocently.

  Florenia raised one of her perfectly arched eyebrows. “The golden apples, of course, Qaar’endoth. All three of them.”

  “Ohhh,” I said as I withdrew them from my pockets. “You mean these apples?”

  “Wait-- what-- how did you--” Willobee sputtered, momentarily speechless for once.

  “The villagers said they wouldn’t be ripe if you plucked them before midnight,” Elodette said.

  “Good thing I waited till after that, till after the thief had come and gone, then,” I said.

  “What!” Ilander exclaimed. “You caught the thief?”

  “Did you kill him?” Lizzy asked.

  “Not exactly,” I replied. “I… er… fucked her.”

  Lizzy laughed. “Attaboy. Fucking typical.”

  “Excuse me,” I said indignantly. “I kill far more of my enemies than I--”

  “What was she like?” Ilandere asked. “Was she very beautiful?”

  “She was a giant flaming bird,” I said. “Except it wasn’t a real fire, not hot fire anyway, it was more of just a light effect, and she transformed into a human woman once I captured her, except that she still had the fiery wings.”

  “How does this kind of stuff always happen to you, Master?” Willobee groaned.

  “That’s the first time I’ve ever had sex with an avian as far as I can recall,” I said.

  The gnome glared at me and gestured at Florenia, Lizzy, and Ilandere in what I suppose he imagined was a subtle manner. “You know what I mean, Master.”

  “Well, in this case, it required jumping out of the top of that tree,” I said as I pointed to the top of the golden apple tree. “She only wanted to sleep with me because I managed to capture her, and she thought that meant my genes would be good for her children.”

  “I’m sure that is not the only reason,” Florenia said as she placed a hand on the back of one of my necks.

  Elodette huffed, “Well, anyway, the important question is--”

  “Was she any good?” Lizzy asked.

  “Is she worthy of joining us on a permanent basis?” Florenia asked.

  “What was her underlying psychological reason for pilfering the apples in the first place?” Willobee asked.

  “No!” Elodette groaned. “The important question is, is she going to stop stealing them from now on? That’s why we stayed overnight here in this garden, isn’t it? To stop the apple thief and save Galeurn’s golden apples? Not to get Vander laid by some random bird lady.”

  “Okay, okay, everyone, I’ll answer in the order the questions were asked,” I said.

  “She was good and she pulled off some pretty awesome aerial maneuvers that you really couldn’t do without wings,” another of my selves told Lizzy. “It was overall kind of weird and surreal and not necessarily something I’d want to do every day, but definitely fun to try once.”

  “She won’t be joining us on a permanent basis, or any other basis in all likelihood,” I told Florenia. “She prefers being a bird to being a human, and her favorite hobby is just flying around the world stealing exotic fruits.”

  “She gets a thrill out of stealing rare, valuable stuff,” I told Willobee. “She’s into those melon things you mentioned before, by the way. Said she flies up in the steppes to get them.”

  “And, yes,” I concluded to Elodette. “That was the first order of business. I knocked her out of the air and then I hung onto her and didn’t release her until she promised to stop stealing the apples.”

  “And until you put your dick in her,” the black centaur added in a somewhat unnecessarily judgmental tone.

  “Now that is not true,” I said. “I released her first, she was a free woman at that point.”

  Elodette rolled her gray eyes. “Right then, well, mission accomplished. Guess we can continue on to the temple of Tarlinis then, if we don’t have any more exotic bird women to seduce first?”

  “Nope, no more exotic bird women,” I agreed cheerfully and pretended that the centaur hadn’t intended the remark sarcastically. “One was enough for me, for now anyway.”

  “Well, that wasn’t quite how I expected things to turn out, but I knew that it was safe to fall asleep because I could trust that you would figure out a way to solve the problem somehow by morning, Vander,” Ilandere said. “You always do. But I am a little sorry that we have to leave Galeurn now.”

  “The Tarlinians need our help, or anyway, they will need our help soon, not sure about the timeline and whether the attack has occurred yet.” I looked at the beautiful centaur’s downcast little face and said, “Ilandere, we’ll return to Galeurn together someday. When this is all over. I promise.”

  Her huge doe eyes immediately brightened, and her rosebud mouth curved up in a smile. “Really, Vander?” she exclaimed. “I’d be the happiest girl in the world if we did.”

  I reached out to clasp her dainty little hand and squeeze it.

  I knew that if we returned to Galeurn after Thorvinius had been destroyed, the little princess would never want to leave again. She’d want to settle down in a cottage and sleep in a feather bed every night and grow apples and learn how to bake them into all kinds of delicious pastries. That kind of lifestyle would definitely get tedious pretty fast if there were only one of me in total, but if only one of me were living a quiet domestic life in Galeurn with Ilandere, while three or more of my selves were still off having wild adventures? That would be just fine with me.

  “Should we go tell Minna and Sol that the golden apple tree is safe now?” Ilandere asked.

  “Ha, we better tell Bill and Zan,” Lizzy snickered.

  “Why don’t we just tell the mayor?” I suggested. “That way, he’ll be able to
inform the whole village.”

  “And then we can collect the reward!” Willobee chortled eagerly.

  The nine of us exited the garden through the open gate. Then we went around to the front walkway of the mayor’s fine brick and wattle house and knocked on the door while one of me stayed back and took charge of our five horses.

  A servant in a plain brown surcoat and breeches with a friendly demeanor answered the door. “Good morning to you, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. “Er, how can I help you?”

  “We would like to speak to the mayor about the matter of the golden apple tree,” I answered, and then I produced one of the apples from my pocket and held it up for him to see.

  The servant’s blue eyes widened, and he stammered, “Oh-- oh indeed. I shall inform Mayor Kenniworth right away. Wait here, if you please.”

  Mayor Kenniworth, when we were received into his study, turned out to be a jolly, bespectacled, middle-aged man with a substantial beer gut and a twinkle in his eye.

  “So, I’ve heard from Timothy here that the grand mystery of our apple thief has finally been solved,” he declared with a broad smile as he reached out to shake my hand. After I shook, he reached for another of my self’s hands, and then another, and the last, and then he proceeded to shake the hands of Willobee, Lizzy, Florenia, Elodette, and Ilandere each in turn.

  “That’s right,” I said as I placed each of the three golden apples on his desk in a row. “It was a firebird. She likes stealing exotic fruit. But she promised to stay away from Galeurn’s from now on.”

  “What beauties, what absolute beauties,” Mayor Kenniworth declared of the apples in the kind of fervent tone that most men reserved for women they wanted to fuck. He beckoned over to the servant Timothy, who was still standing by the door. “Timothy, would you kindly have these prepared for us?”

  Timothy bowed, collected the apples, and carried them off.

  “Well, well,” Mayor Kenniworth said. “Will you tell me the story? What happened last night? No one in Galeurn has been able to achieve what you just did, you know. Actually, no one outside of Galeurn has been able to achieve it either, and there have been many hero types who have showed up to try, hoping there would be a dragon or something of that sort to fight.”

  I gave him an abbreviated version of the story with the sex part subtracted, since I didn’t feel like that really needed to be public information, which made it a very brief report indeed.

  “How fascinating,” Mayor Kenniworth hummed. “A firebird, you say? I have heard of such creatures. Ah, I wish I could have seen her myself. What a magnificent sight she must have been. I did try, of course, the thefts were taking place right in my garden after all. But the curse still seemed to apply when I sat in an armchair at a window overlooking the garden. I never once managed to stay up till midnight, although, of course, I am not as young as I once was, so perhaps that has something to do with it.”

  “She was a magnificent sight,” I said, “but I imagine the golden apple tree will be too, once it is laden with ripe fruit again.”

  The mayor looked around at the nine of us with an air of curiosity. “You must be very special folks to have overcome the firebird’s magic,” he said. “Where do you come from? Who are you, anyway? And are you, er, quadruplets, if that is the proper term for it?”

  “Qaar’endoth is an infinitely multiplying god,” Florenia answered the latter question, “and he currently occupies four bodies, but I am sure that he will gain more soon.”

  “Oh! How nice,” replied the mayor, but I could tell that he was just being polite and didn’t believe her for an instant. I remembered what Sol and Minna had said about Galeurn’s general lack of interest in all forms of religion. “Well, ah, before I forget, I must give you your reward.”

  Willobee let out an audible chortle of excitement until I shot him a glare.

  From a drawer of his finely carved mahogany desk, the mayor produced a sculpture of an apple that was life size and in every contour and textural detail perfectly lifelike, except that it was made of solid gold. He handed it to me with a broad smile and said, “You have Galeurn’s eternal gratitude, Mister Qaar’endoth.”

  “Thank you, it was no problem really,” I said as I took the apple. I handed it to Ilandere. “For you-- something to remember Galeurn by until next time.”

  The little silver-dappled centaur’s eyes welled up with tears of overflowing emotion, and she sniffled, “Thank you, Vander, I will treasure it,” as she caressed the golden apple in her hands and admired it.

  Then Timothy returned carrying a silver tray, upon which each of the three golden-colored real apples were arranged in concentric circles and accompanied by a silver dish filled with liquid caramel. He placed it on the desk and bowed.

  “Thank you, Timothy,” Mayor Kenniworth said. He gestured to my nearest self. “The first bite must go to the guest of honor. The captor of the firebird.”

  I took an apple slice and bit into it. It was refreshing and absolutely delicious but, to be honest, I couldn’t have told the difference without looking between the way that it tasted and the way that all the other apples in Galeurn tasted. I guess what made it so valuable was just the unusual metallic color of its skin. It really was pretty much the same color as the artificial apple of solid gold, although the light reflected differently across its surface.

  But Mayor Kenniworth was looking at me expectantly, so I declared, “Absolutely incomparable,” and he broke into a grin. He picked up a slice for himself and swirled it with a generous dollop of caramel as he used the other hand to wave my other companions toward the tray.

  As we all crunched on the golden apple slices, including Timothy after his employer invited him to partake as well, the genial mayor remarked, “This will be a lively day for gossip in Galeurn. You know, there are quite a few wagers running on who or what was stealing those apples. I don’t know that anyone bet on a firebird, but if so, that person will become quite wealthy today. Timothy, I think we should plan a celebratory feast for the end of this week. Would you all like to stay in my home until then, so that the whole village can have the chance to recognize you properly?”

  “I’m afraid we can’t stay,” I said. “We received word from the oracle Peryenia that the temple of Tarlinis is in trouble, or is about to be, and we need to go help them.”

  “Hmm, an oracle?” Mayor Kenniworth said with a raised eyebrow. “So I see. Are they very reliable, do you think? And, ah, I don’t mean to cast aspersions, but is not Peryenia of the temple of Ukalion, of a village where the inhabitants are rarely sober past the age of two years old?”

  “Be that as it may, we can’t take the chance,” I said. I didn’t think it was necessary to go into the details of how the advice of other oracles had proven absolutely vital to my quest in the past. “If we get there and they’re fine and nothing happens, I suppose we can always turn right back around and be here in time for a feast at week’s end. How far is the temple of Tarlinis from here? Would you mind telling us how to get there?”

  “Not at all,” the bespectacled mayor replied. “It is the least I can do. Timothy, if you would fetch my map, please? The medium-scaled one.”

  Timothy unlocked a cabinet, pulled out a roll of parchment, and unfurled it on the desk to reveal an illustrated map of the area. Galeurn was outlined in the center and marked with an apple emblem. I could also see Peryenia’s unnamed village along the route my companions and I had traveled. In the opposite direction, about twice as far from Galeurn as Peryenia’s village had been, the temple of Tarlinis was indicated.

  “It should be about another day and a half’s ride then,” Elodette said.

  We took our leave of Mayor Kenniworth and Timothy and thanked them for the prize of the golden apple. Then we stopped by Sol and Minna’s bakery again to load up on more pies for breakfast and for the road before we started out again. When we told them the news about catching the thief, Sol said, “Well, I’ll be damned!” and Minna winked at us and sai
d, “I’m not surprised at all. I just knew you all were special as soon as I saw you.”

  It was a bright and sunny early afternoon as we left Galeurn, and everyone was in a cheerful mood.

  “I wish all of our adventures could be like that,” Ilandere sighed.

  “You mean, the rest of us fall asleep and miss the whole thing while Vander takes care of it?” Lizzy asked.

  “No, I just mean, everyone’s nice to each other and no one gets hurt,” Ilandere said.

  “That’s not how the world works, horse, and it would be boring if it did,” the she-wolf replied.

  “Well, anyway, Galeurn is my favorite place that I’ve ever been to,” Ilandere said and stubbornly refused to let Lizzy dampen her spirits. She was still clutching the golden apple in her hands and sometimes I caught her admiring her reflection in it.

  “I’ll take you back there someday,” I repeated so that I could see the little centaur’s dazzling smile again.

  Elodette hmmmed under her breath as she watched my interaction with Ilandere.

  “What is it?” another of my selves that was nearest to the powerful black centaur asked her with the expectation that it would be some kind of sarcastic remark.

  Elodette hesitated. Then she said, “It doesn’t make any sense, because all she did was eat some apple pie and then fall asleep while you fucked some random stranger. But… somehow visiting Galeurn seems to have done her good. She still has many leagues to go before she would have what it takes to lead a centaur herd, but she seems a little more confident and assertive lately.”

  “I know she was born and raised in one, but a centaur herd is not her natural element and never was,” I replied.

  “Ha, and this is?” Elodette retorted. “Being part of a mixed-species harem?”